A South Paw? - #13

Easter was a great holiday weekend for the family. Angie and I spent it with her family and we had a great Easter dinner. Lenka had a great time searching for eggs, getting candy, and of course getting the annual visit from the Easter Bunny. It was also a special time for Janika. This was her first Easter and I think she handled it very well. But there was a highlight for Janika, well more for her parents. It looks as if our baby girl might be left handed. This sounded sirens in my head because now I felt that from now on everything would be backwards. Ranging from teaching her how to hold a baseball bat to cutting with scissors to even writing her own name. Both Angie and I are right handed. Sure there are things I can do with both hands, but I’m predominately a righty. We do have lefties in our family. Angie’s mom is left handed and I have two older brothers and an older sister who are left handed. But after looking into it we found that being left handed is not necessarily hereditary. In fact, what I found out was that no one really knows. One out of ten babies are born left handed and scientists say that it is purely natural selection.

When I first noticed Janika’s left handed tendencies if you will, my first thought was to work with her on using her right more. I then discovered that you should NEVER try to push right or left onto a baby. It can make them very frustrated and even lower their self confidence. It can be hard for lefties because they may want to fit in with their friends and they’ll try to use their right hand and it will be very difficult for them. So for the parents out there with babies in the six to twelve month age range, here are some tips to see if you’re dealing with a South Paw.

-The hand that is always closest, or in, their mouth when teething or eating
-The hand your child uses to hold a spoon when eating
-The hand they use to hold a crayon or pencil
-When standing on one leg, they feel more comfortable standing on their left

On a side note I realized that I’m going to see if I can get Janika involved in sports. If she takes to sports such as basketball, softball, or ultimate fighting (Just kidding Angie) being left handed will be a huge advantage. Just for fun I looked up some famous left handed people. Maybe one day the name Janika Dwight will be one of them.

Ronald Reagan
Barack Obama
Jay Leno
Richard Simmons
Matt Groening (creator of ‘The Simpsons’)
Kurt Cobain
Phil Collins
Judy Garland
Jimi Hendrix
Tim Allen
Charlie Chaplin
Tom Cruise
Matt Dillon
Whoopie Goldberg
Angelina Jolie
Julia Roberts
Oprah Winfrey
Larry Bird
John McEnroe
Ken Griffey, Jr.
Babe Ruth

Just A Little Patience (Yeah, Yeah) - #12

Two is a very difficult age, not just for parents but for kids as well. They want to do everything by themselves, but on the other hand they don’t. It seems like they look for opportunities to argue. If I could give any advice to parents of toddlers, or parents who have infants and will be experiencing this very soon, be patient. I consider myself to be a good dad. I do the stuff that a dad is suppose to do like take care of them, support them, and more importantly spend quality time with them. I feel good when I do these things because I’m developing a good relationship with my girls and I’m being a great role model. But what I’ve found to be my biggest problem is at times I lack the patience when dealing with Lenka, my two-year old. If I’m in a hurry, she may throw a fit of some kind and put me behind schedule. This gets me upset and very frustrated. When this happens I get a terrible feeling inside that I can’t stand. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t start whipping her because I’m running five minutes late, but what I’ve found myself doing is raising my voice and yelling for no good reason at all. All it does is put us even more behind. So what do I need to work on to be a better parent? I need more patience.

There are no concrete tips on how to work on this; it varies from person to person. What I’m going to do is just be vary aware of what is going on and keep myself under control. When Lenka is crying and screaming because she is having problems putting her shoe on and won’t let me help, I’m going to keep my voice levels down and speak very calmly. I’m hoping what this will do is convince Lenka to let me help and when I do I’m going to explain step by step what I’m doing, like I’m teaching her. Then I’ll laugh and cheer when her shoes are on to hopefully steer her to a better mood and we can start heading toward the door.

Wish me luck.

P.S. Only one more month until Lenka turns 3 and I hear that age is worse then 2. (Here we go…)

A Room For Two - #11

It has been ten months in the waiting, but Janika is now sleeping in a bedroom. When Janika was born Angie and I ran into a dilemma where we had a two-year old, Lenka, who when was put to bed would spend time playing while laying in bed in the dark. Then with Janika we had a little baby who would wake up at various times crying. Having these two girls share a room would be too stressful for us. Now that the girls are a little older we decided to go for it and I’m happy to report that they are now happily sharing a room. Lenka still says that her sister is sleeping in her room rather than sharing, but it’s cool. So now Angie and I have our basement back. Another bonus is that since Janika goes to bed first, Lenka is forced to be quiet when she gets into bed; no more playing or reading. That has made for a happier, and less sleepy, little girl. Now Angie and I can look forward to the day when we move into a bigger house where the girls will have their own room. Then again there has been talk about turning the basement into another bedroom for Lenka when she gets older. Only time will tell.

When looking for a tip for this week most of the stuff I could come up with was bonuses for kids sharing a bedroom with a sibling. The hard part of course is getting to the benefits. There will always be waking each other up in the middle of the night and the fighting depending on how old they are, but that does go away. So below I’ve listed the benefits I’m looking forward to now that I’m a parent of two girls that share a bedroom. We hope that if you are in the same situation we are, you can feel a little more comfortable.

- When they are young, your children will learn to fall asleep on their own much easier. Not only that, but once they are woken up at night, they will learn to fall back to sleep much more quickly.
- They will likely sleep, and wake, more peacefully knowing that they are not alone. They will often call to each other gently to make sure the other is there. Also, when they wake in the morning, they will usually talk to each other and play quietly until the parent comes to get them.
- Your children will likely develop a closer relationship as siblings. Many children who share a room spend time talking with each other about thoughts, feelings, and so on, especially once they are school aged. If the children are the same gender, they will share things with each other that they may not share with you. This will add stability to their lives and make your home a happy and healthy one.

Too Shy, Shy - #10

There are many reasons why a child is shy. It could be because their parents were shy. Or maybe something happened to the child and now they are scared to talk to people. These are reasons for being shy that can be very difficult to over come. But if you are looking for a nice and easy way to break your child from their shell and make them, shall we say, anti anti-social. (Get it, double negative) The answer is: daycare. Growing up I was terribly shy. I didn’t really come out of my shell until I was in high school and college. Actually, I’m still shy. Angie was a little shy, but from what I hear not too much. I’ve known her for about 12 years now and I’ve never known her to hold back. I had a feeling though Lenka would be just like me and to avoid this we made sure to send her to daycare as soon as possible, 3 to 4 months old. This gave her the opportunity to be around other kids and interact with them on a daily basis. Her communication skills are so much better then I think they would have if we decided to not send her. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying keeping your kids home and being a stay at home mom or dad is wrong. It is your choice and this is America . I am just a huge believer that daycare provides so much more then just a babysitting service. My 2 year old has best friends, and she’s had them for over a year. Because of her rapid development and her very outgoing personality we are hoping the same from Janika, our 9 month old.

Now a big “ouch” factor that goes along with daycare is cost. Luckily we found a daycare that offers very good rates. Plus it is run by Angie’s sister so that makes the girls comfortable because they are around family all day. Then again, all of the employees at Aunt April’s Learning Center are like family to my girls. We did start with a brick and mortar daycare and we didn’t really like it. We only went with it because it was close to our house. I definitely suggest doing your research before selecting a daycare. Below are a few things to consider when doing this. (Courtesy of www.familydoctor.org) You never know, you may get lucky like Angie and I did.

- How many children are there for each staff member? (One staff person for 3 to 5 small children and one staff member for 7 to 10 older children)
- Are the younger and older children separated?
- What are the center's policies on discipline and other important issues?
- How does the center take care of sick children?
- What are the training requirements for staff members?

Finally, here are some signs that the daycare you’ve chosen may have some problems:
- The staff fails to answer your questions and address your concerns.
- There is no way for parents to be involved in the day-care practices.
- Your child tells you about problems or is not happy with his or her day care experience.
- Unexplained accidents happen more than once.
- The staff changes often.
- The management can't offer you a written copy of the day-care policies.
- Other parents tell you about problems or concerns with the day-care center.

It's hard to say 'No' - #9

Angie and I recently decided that our oldest daughter is snacking way too much; especially when the snacks that she is having are very unhealthy. So we are going to start cutting down on the snacks that she has and when she does we are going to try to make sure they are as healthy as possible, or at least portion controlled. Tuesday was one of our first days of this nice little venture and being 2 years old, she proceeded into a huge fit. Not only was there screaming and stomping, but there were tears pouring down her face. On the ride home from day care she started naming every one of her teachers asking for help. The fit ended when she uttered the words “You’re not my friend anymore”. Now this did break my heart, but not thirty minutes later we were playing and laughing.

Being a parent of children at this age can be very difficult, but you have to stick it out. Being the parent it is your job to mold them and make sure they grow up not only healthy, but well mannered. We have to act they way we want them to act. Their attitude and the way the treat others when they are in their teens and even in adult hood will fall on you, not Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Teachers, etc. So stick it out parents and remember in the end it will be all worth it. Oh yeah…they do love you.

You Can Do It! - #8

Next week Janika will be 8 months old she is still not crawling. Now Angie and I take responsibility for this because we aren’t working with her as much as we did with Lenka. She was walking by 9 and half months, which what I hear is very early. When Janika was in the hospital recently, I had the opportunity to talk to some of the doctors and they told me that some babies won’t walk until after their first birthday. But crawling should be a priority for us. So Angie and I going to become dedicated to get our little girl, who is getting older fast, mobile.

I was in need of some tips to practice and I was able to find a nice simple 6 step method to get babies crawling in no time. I thought I’d share this with everyone so they can start working with their infant. This is something that Angie and I are going to work with Janika every day. And may I suggest you not wait until they are 8 months old.

STEP 1: Place your baby on his/her stomach on a carpet on the floor.
STEP 2: Gently hold Baby by the elbows and encourage supporting him/herself on elbows. Continue to provide support.
STEP 3: Measure, or try to get some measure of the distance between the floor and Baby's armpit in the supported position.
STEP 4: Get a *roller with approximately the same diameter as you've just measured. Rollers are soft cylindrical shaped toys... preferably firm. You do get inflatable ones, but firm, dense ones normally last much longer and can also be a valuable aid to get Baby to sit and walk.
STEP 5: Put the roller underneath Baby's upper body... elbows touching the ground in front of the roller. This supported position also allow Baby to lift his/her head and discover the surroundings.
STEP 6: Get down on the floor directly in front of Baby, face towards Baby. Now, let Baby look at your face while you talk to, amuse and encourage Baby to lift his head and take part in the conversation.

*Making a Roller:
1. Take any normal large bathroom or swimming towel.
2. Spread it out flat on the ground.
3. Reduce the width of the towel by folding it in half. You'll now have a long narrow towel.
4. Form a roll by rolling the towel over the length of the towel. Start at one of the short ends and finish at the other short end. You should now have a short fat towel roll.
5. Use this "roller" exactly as described in the baby crawl article.
6. If the roller is too small (low), then use 2 towels rather than just one.

RSV and Facebook - #7

We had a scare in our house this past week, seems like we are having a lot of those. Janika had been really sick and Angie took her to the doctor on Monday. She had taken her the week before, but he dismissed it as being a little sick and to let it run its course. When she wasn’t getting any better we thought it was time to visit the doctor again. Well it turned out Janika was not just a little sick, she was very sick. She had infections in her ears, kidneys, urinary track, and lungs. That is quite a lot for a 7-month old to handle. So on Monday we put our baby girl in the hospital. She was treated and we were able to take her home a few days later on New Year’s Eve. The infections in her ears and urinary track are basically gone. Her kidney infection turned out to be small, but we have to take her back to the doctor to make sure this won’t be something she’ll battle for the rest of her life. The infection in her lungs was a different story. Janika was diagnosed with respiratory syncytial virus or RSV. It causes infection of the lungs and breathing passages. Adults can get it too, but it will seem very mild to us. In babies Janika’s age it can seriously affect the lungs, heart, or immune system. It is also highly contagious; our 2-year old Lenka had to wear a mask when she was around her little sister. Luckily the disease usually lasts about a week. That would explain her complete turn around.

Because RSV can be easily spread by touching people or surfaces that are infected, frequent hand washing can go a long way toward preventing the virus from spreading around a household. It’s best to wash your hands after having any contact with someone who has any cold symptoms. And keep your school-age child with a cold away from younger siblings, especially infants, until the symptoms pass. When it comes to treating RSV most cases are mild and require no specific treatment from a doctor. Antibiotics aren’t used because RSV is a virus and antibiotics are only effective against bacteria. Meds may sometimes be given to help open airways. In an infant though an RSV infection can be more serious and may require hospitalization so that the baby can be watched closely, receive fluids, and if needed, be treated for breathing problems; just like our little Janika. Below are some of the symptoms to look for.

-high fever with ill appearance
-thick nasal discharge that is yellow, green, or gray
-worsening cough or cough that produces yellow, green, or gray mucus

While Janika was going through her ordeal my wife found refuge in the social network Facebook. She was able to give updates to her friends and family through wall-to-wall messages, status updates, and personal notes or blogs. For awhile my wife and I were on MySpace. We were able to talk to a few of our friends and blog and what not, but there was always that constant thought running through my head, are we too old for this? I mean I was 30 and I’m on the same social network that seems to be populated with the 14 to 22 year olds. I finally made the move to Facebook where I felt a little more welcome. I didn’t feel like such a dirty old man. Facebook is more PG and seems perfect for my age range, and older. I was able to touch base with people I hadn’t seen since I was nine! I’m still able to blog as well, which you can tell is something I like to do. Soon Angie jumped on board and as I bragged about my 150 plus friends, she had shot above 300 in only a couple months. This is not only a perfect way to keep in touch with people, but to do what I think MySpace was suppose to do and that was connect with friends and family all over the world. I still have my MySpace account, but I’m not on it as much.

So a topic that comes up with social networks such as MySpace and Facebook are should parents and their children have accounts and should they be “friends”. I can admit that teenagers have to grow up a lot faster than I was at their age; and that wasn’t really that long ago. There is an excellent article I found about parents and kids with Facebook accounts and should they be “friends”. It is a very good article, but what is even more interesting are the comments made by parents and kids so make sure to check out that part of the article. While reading it I was thinking if I would have to go though this with my girls in 10 to 12 years from now, but who knows what they’ll have by then.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28318138/wid/11915829?GT1=40000

Have a great new year and be sure to make a resolution in 2009 to be to spend more time with your kids.